Whilst many people concern themselves with the grand notion of the chicken or egg causality dilemma, we’ve got far bigger eggs to fry. Being staggering physics geniuses here at Professional Moron (we can add stuff like 5 and 8 together without hesitating – it’s a gift), we’re moving being the tedious, qualia based reductionism which hinders most human thought. Did we just call you stupid? Of course not! We’re merely indicating you’re uneducated dolts!

Anyway, the egg… the chicken? Ultimately, it’s an irrelevance. What’s more important is this: what came first, the egg or the egg yolk? This is quite the distressing question one must contemplate rather seriously, as for many aeons of existence there existed eggs with one or the other missing… man alive, those full English breakfasts most have been a heck of a lot more boring!

The Egg or the Egg Yolk?

Indeed, can you imagine (say, this morning) cracking an egg into your frying pan only to discover there’s only some yolk (the white bit) inside? It’d be mortifying! You’d go to the Facebook page of the supermarket where you purchased it and post a snotty, self-absorbed comment indicating your consumer outrage.

Then you’d feel all smug upon receiving a sycophantic response from a digital marketer paid (and warned) to be polite to you at all costs by fat cats earning 70 times more than you ever will, but who genuinely don’t give a crap about your pathetic temper tantrum. So, as you can see, eggs have always created a vicious circle of human strife.

This, however, was the state of affairs (as previously indicated) for aeons. How much is an aeon? Ask someone called Ian (buh-dum-tish). It’s a really bloody long time, okay? Which is an awful lot of consumer outrage, an awful lot of Facebook comments (it’s believed even Humpty Dumpty penned a comment of outrage to your least favourite supermarket), and that’s an awful lot of unanswered questions about the truth of the universe and eggs.

Quit Stalling!

The truth is, as no one was around at the time to see it in action (except Humpty Dumpty, but he’s stupid), no one will ever know if eggs or yolk came first. Indeed, ancient philosophers such as Aristotle (who liked his eggs sunny side up) had no idea what was going on. What a dunce.

More recently,  Richard Dawkins argues in the Magic of Reality (2011, which is the year before 2012 and the one after 2010) it’s a moot point whether it’s the chicken or the egg or the egg yolk or the egg which came first. Apparently, we’re all common ancestors which morphed from gelatinous amoeba. LOL! Yeah, right, and seaweed is edible! Whatever next?!

The answer lies ecology… or, should that be, eggology! We’re not really sure, we just had to end this piece on a piece of borderline cretinous wordplay. On a food related matter, we like scrambled, boiled, poached, and fried eggs. Any egg is a good egg. Yum.