Okay that maniac Red Metal over at Extra Life, set us these questions as part of some sort of… thing.
And we responded. Because we like these sort of interview things. Got a problem with that? Swivel!
What is your favourite variety of meat? Or if you don’t eat meat what is your favourite meat substitute?
Sushi is a big deal for us, but the Beyond Burger extravaganza wins us over every time. It may cost £5, but it’s glorious.
All the vegan stuff is taking off in England now and non-meat varieties are easy to come across.
If you could permanently remove one installment from a series you like (which would erase its existence from everyone’s memory), which one would you choose?
Everything after the excellent classic Terminator 2: Judgment Day from that series.
You have a stunning masterpiece like that and then all subsequent films are guff? Cash cow must end.
If you lost a bet, would you rather read the worst book, play the worst game, listen to the worst album, or watch the worst film that you know of?
Play the worst game—we’d still derive some sort of fun from that. Whereas if we were forced to listen to a rap album… we’re not surviving that.
If you won a bet, what kind of punishment would be in store for your friend?
Reading all 2,300+ posts we’ve written on Professional Moron since 2012.
What is your favourite month of the year?
Autumnal months are the best, due to crisp weather conditions and the pretty leaves adorning the trees.
What is a piece of obscure trivia you like to mention during social gatherings?
Obscure oddities are something we love, so anything we picked up from the Atlas Obscura book, our travels through culture over the years, or random things like Phineas Gage surviving an iron bolt through his skull.
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose? In this hypothetical situation, assume your choice would grant you complete fluency in the area’s official language.
Japan—a nation of discipline, great manners, minimalism, and a sense of humility. They’re also steeped in Teaism, which we’re rather big on—The Book of Tea.
It’s also the height of bad manners to use your smartphone in public. So it looks ideal for us!
However, the Japanese language barrier is a pretty serious issue we don’t think we can ever overcome.
What is the longest amount of time you’ve ever driven a car or other vehicle in one sitting?
Car ownership isn’t something our generation does in England. We don’t own a car. Probably never will either.
What is the most annoying fictional character you can think of?
Burt Bacharach.
What is the most underrated fictional character you can think of?
Lisa Simpson. Super smart, magnanimous, and eager to get out into the world and make a positive impact.
With the decade coming to a close, would you say this was a good period for films, comics, animation, music, literature, or video games?
Across some of them, yes, like with video games—and video game soundtracks. Otherwise we think chart music is horrific.
But much cultural output remains to a very high standard, although you often need to look beyond the mainstream and massive marketing budgets to find the best stuff.
Professional Moron 
I need to think about that, but I don’t have time…. so no/yes!
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Maybe, then? A good old “maybe” didn’t do no one no harm.
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Ah… forgot about maybe!
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There’s also: I don’t know.
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I didn’t know that.
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Didn’t know what?
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That.
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I haven’t had sushi that much. Even when I went to Japan, I ended up gravitating towards the noodle dishes. I did have it once, and did like it, though, so maybe I should try it again. I’ve also heard good things about the Beyond Burger.
Yeah, that’s a good choice. Film franchises that go on forever tend to stagnate quickly.
I actually would play the worst game as well because I like having at least some control over a bad situation whereas passively letting a bad work pan out is much harder than it sounds. Also, I think to get out of a punishment, I would tell my opponent that I don’t like rap music only to pull the rug out from under them when they make me listen to a good album, unaware that I’m actually enjoying it.
I still say reading 2,300 of your articles would be easier than reading 5 articles written by Owen Gleiberman.
I’m actually quite partial to August, though July has always been a favorite of mine.
Wasn’t Phineas Gage that guy whose personality completely changed upon getting that spike driven through his head?
Yeah, their emphasis on minimalism is probably why I tend to prefer Japanese games over Western ones – focus counts for a lot.
I actually think you should count your blessings. Being able to drive is pretty cool, but actually maintaining a car can be very irritating.
Burt Bacharach is a fictional character, now?
I can understand why people have reservations about Lisa Simpson, though I at least think she was well characterized in the first few seasons. Her worst tendencies in later ones are really more of a symptom of a larger problem – the show’s overall decline.
I’d say video games were the clear winner between those mediums, but you’re right in that there was a lot of great art made that just wasn’t mainstream (especially in music). Then again, I’m not sure if this generation is really any worse when it comes to chart music than the ones preceding it; I’ve seen a lot of insipid stuff top the charts in the supposed golden ages as well.
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If you go for sushi just make sure you splash out for the proper good restaurant stuff. A lot of people here try the supermarket brand stuff and it’s horrendous.
But agreed on video games! The indie scene in particular is glorious right now. I think we’ll look back on this era in 20 years and think of it as a SNES era type golden years thing.
Although my colleague is annoying me as he keeps reiterating that older games can’t be good because the graphics have aged. Which I keep chastising him about. He didn’t own a SNES so has missed out on the likes of Super Metroid. He shrugs off Nintendo’s stuff as rubbish and just plays Apex Legends. Philistine!
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