Aliens the movie is amazing. It’s one of out favourite films ever and also led to such amazeballs quotes such as, “Get away from her, you bitch!”

Yet James Cameron’s film had many other memorable lines from Ripley, Hudson, Hicks, and… Newt! Yes, Carrie Henn’s wee survivalist.

And we’re here to explore her most legendary of moments and what her line could have been in an alternate reality.

They mostly come at night… mostly

Here’s the original in all its glory! Carrie Henn nails that line. Game over, man! Mostly. Also, check out Sigourney Weaver rocking that leather jacket!

Predominantly, the aliens are in abundance during the period from sunset to sunrise over the course of each twenty-four hours

Now, this is the updated version for if Newt wasn’t such a STUPID little girl. Young lady, slobbering alien maniacs or not you must work on improving your DICTION and GRAMMAR!

They mostly decapitate and/or cocoon everyone at night… mostly

Let’s be clear on what Newt means here, she’s referring to the creatures and their predatory behaviour. The space monsters have a strong passion for staggering aggression and violence. Duly noted.

They verbosely come at night… verbosely

Not so sure we’d class the xenomorphs as “verbose”, Newt. What makes you think they’re chatty? We guess all those snarling and wailing noises they make may count. Okay, we’ll let you off with this one.

They jocosely come at night… jocosely

The adjective “jocose” means to be “playful or humorous”. In this instance, the use of the word is a knee slapper due to the contradictory nature of the psychotic alien monsters.

The groceries come at night… groceries

Okay, we get Newt would be craving a Pot Noodle sandwich or something at this point. But, seriously! Young lady, there will be no groceries! Snap out of it. Get your head in the game or you’ll be cannon fodder in a flash.

They morosely come at night… morosely

Yeah, this one makes sense. The xenomorphs are a bit morose, aren’t they? Downright misanthropic, you could say.

They mostly drum at night… mostly

Is Newt trying to indicate the xenomorphs just want to be left alone to drum up some fancy John Bonham grooves?! She may be onto something there, although drumming at night is a seriously anti-social practice.

They mostly drink rum at night… mostly

Oh, hang on… you mean to say the xenomorph’s wildly psychotic behaviour is just due to their drunken hooliganism? Sheesh. These films take on a whole new meaning after that revelation.

They mostly chew gum at night… mostly

As if they couldn’t be anymore unwelcome! Gum chewers are not welcome around these parts!

They mostly use their unearned income at night… mostly

And the xenomorphs are scroungers!? On top off everything else (the decapitations, the cocooning, the acid for blood), they’re freeloaders leeching off society! We should have known it…

They mostly succumb at night… mostly

Pretty accurate. In the whole of the Alien franchise, has one of the xenomorphs copped it during daylight hours!? Possibly in Alien: Covenant… if we remember correctly. If so, you’re wrong, Newt! You’re wrong…

They mostly hum at night… mostly

So, there’s the drumming thing… and now the humming thing. Cripes, you wouldn’t want these aliens as neighbours, would you?

They mostly strum at night… mostly

AND they play the guitar!? Good grief, it’s no wonder Ripley always wanted to blow those slobbering maniacs into space.

They mostly compose at night… mostly

Okay… we never really associated xenomorphs with great works of music. But now it turns out they:

• Play the drums
• Play the guitar
• Hum collectively
• Compose

And all during night-time hours, between bouts of enslaving other species and slobbering everywhere. As Burke said, “Busy creatures.”

And finally…

Mostly

We do think Newt’s dialogue for the rest of Aliens should have just been her muttering (or screaming) “mostly” over and over. That’s good writing, that is.

And for Carrie Henn! She’s a teacher now, having decided not to pursue a career in acting.

We do hope she teaches everyone about adverbs. Lectures them… pedantically! Particularly about mostly, actually, which is the best adverb in the history of ever.