Obstinacy. The human male has mastered the art of it. And if there’s one manly man thing that never needs clarifying, it’s the need to find his way to a destination without referring to a map.

As enquiring about directions is akin to admitting he’s a big girl’s blouse.

This is the map-based equivalent of those human males who wear pink shirts. And we’re here to try and cure the issue.

Why Men Never Need to Use a Map

Dear agony aunt. I'm Claire. My husband Gavin and I are 22, we got married after a whirlwind romance at university. So far it's going horrendously badly I've got to say, but all marriages hit a rocky patch. Right? I know that.

BUT THE ONE THING THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF IS HIS REFUSAL TO EVER GET ANY DIRECTIONS FOR ANYTHING!

As a strong independent woman, I DON'T appreciate his mansplaining and casual refusal to accept any assistance with where to go. No matter how lost he gets, even if we're on the verge of plunging off a sheer cliff face, he's insistent he'll "find the way" and, oh my days, I'm sick of his bullshit!

I have a degree in physics, for crying out loud, and here he is, JUST A MERE LAW POSTGRADUATE, and he thinks he can use his brains to get from London to Hastings and back without the need to so much as look at a road sign. THAT is why we ended up in Bergen op Zoom in Belgium. Then he took us to Berlin in his attempt to get back to the UK. Eventually, we abandoned the car, took a flight, and he booked us the wrong one. London? No, we ended up at Glasgow airport. He insisted he could drive us back to London with a hire car, "No problem, babe!", and where did we end up?! Well, he boarded a ferry as a "shortcut" and we ended up in Norway. Then when I demanded to take the wheel to get us home, he sulked all the way back. Within 12 hours we were back in London. He sulked some more. He's still sulking now as I type this. And I've made him read all of this message and he's sulking and...

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Mate, this is Gavin. Claire's better half. Look at all the nagging above. This is what I have to deal with right?! Look at that, mate! "JUST A MERE LAW POSTGRADUATE"! I GOT A FIRST. A FIRST! Physics? Who the hell even needs physics in this day and age!? She works as a barmaid. Anyway, what she's neglected to mention in her tirade above is the trip from Norway to... SHUT UP, Claire! I'm explaining my side of the argument, your prolixity isn't legally admissible without my counterpoint. As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, what Claire neglected to mention was her route back from Norway (a journey I'd managed on an excellent low budget, as the plan was to then get a flight back to London) was much more expensive as she bought FIRST CLASS tickets. What was her reason for first class tickets?! Due to the "stress" I'd put her through by getting "lost". I put it to you - I WAS NOT LOST. At no point, ever, was I lost. I knew EXACTLY what I was doing and if she'd just stopped nagging for a moment to let me get us home we'd have been back in Naples before she could say, "Oh, the Italian Riviera is almost as beautiful as you are, Gavin!"

Furthermore, I... CLAIRE, BACK OFF! I'm HAVING MY SA...

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Look at this! LOOK AT THIS!!!!!! What a piece of work is a man!? He won't even let ME type during MY agony aunt column and now he's sulking again and he's go... Oh, oh! He's "going out to the pub with the lads" to get away from the "NAGGING" and I just threw my favourite cushion at him as he left. He can only go to the pub thanks to MUGGINS here getting us back to London. That's why I paid for the first class tickets. Think I want to waste my money on that? God! 

PLEASE! How do I ensure this doesn't happen again? Yours, Claire

Hi there, Claire. Jesus H Christ, shut up will you? What do you think this is, an agony aunt?

We’re not here to solve your moronic travel issues, get in touch with consumer rights for tourism or whatever. Under The Consumer Rights Act 2015, you can make a complaint about your husband and/or report him to the police.

Just, obviously, don’t ask him for directions to the nearest law enforcement as you’ll end up in Tokyo, or something.