Okay put your arm up* and admit it, whenever you’re around incense sticks you have the overwhelming urge to seize and consume them. We sure as heck do, which is why our esteemed editor, Mr. Wapojif, has ended up with several third degree burns all over his face and tongue. Truly, his status as a moron is unrivalled!
Some of our more conventional readers may consider incense sticks those pungent things which hippies used to wave about, most notably at Woodstock when Richie Havens took to the stage in ’69. Whatever, let’s all face up to reality and realise incense sticks would be delicious on toast. This is why we’ve invented our latest dish, the fabulous smelling and largely delicious carbohydrate and smoke combo!
Incense Sticks On Toast
Incense is an unusual thing. We’re pretty sure it’s half smoke and half mineral. To get incense sticks to do their thing, one must set them on fire. There aren’t many other things with such a brutal purpose. If you got a walking stick and set it on fire, for instance, it would be a pretty useless walking stick. Indeed.
It goes without saying you’ll need incense sticks for this recipe. It’s the key ingredient, you know… otherwise you just have some toast. We recommend you buy about a dozen packs of differently flavoured incense sticks and arrange about 50 of the things on some freshly toasted toast. At this point you must engage your flamethrower (readily available at your local supermarket) and let forth with a few engulfing blasts.
Whilst this may terrify your family and pets (especially if you cackle insanely whilst firing the flamethrower), ignore their pathetic whinnying in favour of your despotic pursuit of delicious foodstuffs. Indeed, Incense on Toast packs a mighty pungent kick and you’d be a raving lunatic to miss out on this recipe!
I’m Incensed Enough To Try This!
Good for you! We generally believe incense is supposed to calm one’s nerves and make one at one with nature, but sometimes you have to do away with traditions and embrace your need to slake your hunger. In addition, whilst acquiring a flamethrower may appear excessive, do be aware you do use the device for other household activities such as: cleaning your toilet, getting a haircut, alienating your neighbours, incinerating your limbs, visiting hospital, and getting arrested.
The dish itself isn’t much to write home about, to be honest. On a flavoursome front it kind of tastes like charcoal with a pungent aftertaste of mother nature. Kind of like eating a pork scratching that’s been left out in the sun and that’s had 1,000 disease ridden flies crawling all over it. Indeed, it’s rather one to avoid… but at least you get to use a flamethrower!