Classic Novels Ruined by Adding “Gertrude” Into the Title

A line of novels by Goethe
Shouldn’t that say “Gertrude”?

It may not be the prettiest name in the world, but it makes for one hell of a page turner! This name, of Germanic roots, means “strength”.

Please don’t confuse it with gazuntite. That’s a different type of thing entirely. Yes.

Meanwhile, there’s a Gertrude in Hamlet (although not Macbeth). That says it all. Consequently, we’re here to spread more of them throughout canonical literature. It’s a time to rejoice!

The Great Gertrude

A book in red

Classic from F. Scott Fitzgerald. The novella opines over how great this individual is. Very, apparently.

Gertrude Eyre

A book with a leaf on it on a bench

Feminist classic from a woman writer (tsk)! If ONLY Charlotte Brontë had bothered choosing a more likeable name.

Gertrude and Punishment

A book in red

Almighty epic from a certain Russian author of much heft. This one is about how having such a forename is a type of punishment. Ho hum.

One Hundred Years of Gertrude

A book with a leaf on it on a bench

Story about, yes, 100 years of a woman called that. How does the 500 page epic pan out? She gets married and has a bunch of kids. Guess what she names them!

War and Gertrude

A book in red

Another mighty epic here with a mixture of explosions and mayhem, alongside that forename that looks a bit awkward.

A Tale of Two Gertrudes

A book with a leaf on it on a bench

This time there’s two of them. Not one. Two.

Gertrude’s Adventures in Wonderland

A book in red

Pretty much the same story, just a slight name change there. Makes a big difference, eh?

Nineteen Gertrude-Four

A book with a leaf on it on a bench

George Orwell’s riveting account of the state gone wrong. Bit of a weird title, though. No one knows what he was thinking there.

The Gertrude in the Willows

A book in red

Brilliant book for kids with a quirky old title there! Kids with that name sure were delighted. Everyone else was left thinking, “It’s a shame it isn’t called The Wind in the Willows…”

The Grapes of Gertrude

A book with a leaf on it on a bench

John Steinback classic about grapes and that pesky forename. Ho hum.

Gertrude Expectations

A book in red

There are many expectations in this world. But now of them quite so expectant as Gertrude.

Gertrude’s Travels

A book with a leaf on it on a bench

Johnathan Swift’s epic account of a human female with a forename travelling about the place. Surely, this tome proves how the forename in question became so populace.

The Life and Opinions of Gertrude, Not a Gentleman

A book in red

No, she was a woman! So, not a gentleman at all. What a tragedy…

Gentlemen Prefer Gertrudes

A book with a leaf on it on a bench

I wouldn’t bet on that, book title. It’s all subjective.

And finally…

Breakfast at Gertrude’s

A book in red

Which means a Pot Noodle sandwich followed by a jar of Marmite for dessert. Breakfast at her place sounds like a dream!


Dispense with some gibberish!

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