After our hot cross buns piece, we decided to get all inventive and come up with a new recipe. Plus, this thing acts as a bung for any hole you can think of!

Fear not, these things are also edible. Just about. But don’t eat too many at once, otherwise you may bung yourself up, yeah?

What are Hot Cross Bungs?

It’s a hot cross bun baked as a rubber bung. As such, it can be consumed as a normal snack and/or used to plug up a hole.

What type of hole? Well, it has dual purposes! Such as plugging a:

• Sink.
• Bath.
• Sinkhole (if it’s small enough—as a size guesstimate, the Manchester sinkhole of 2015 was too large).
• Nostrils.
• Mouth (great news if you have a snoring husband).
• Random holes in the ground.

However, if you’re wanting to eat the thing then make sure you do this carefully.

If you don’t, you could accidentally bung up your innards. That could lead to food gathering in your stomach and then you’ll never be able to eat again. Which would be a disaster.

To avoid such a fate, make sure to cut up the hot cross bung into tiny little pieces (at least 3,000) to make sure you don’t get bunged up (unless you get a cold, but that’s an entirely different matter).

Then it’s safe to consume. But if you just want to bung stuff, then don’t consider eating the thing. Just have a hot cross bun instead.

This isn’t confusing, of course. Unless you think so. And that just makes you an idiot.

The Hot Cross Bungs Song

As with the normal buns and the “one a penny” song, we’ve decided to back up our marketing campaign with a gangster rap.

Here are the lyrics. We’re hoping to get a number one hit with this. What do you reckon?

Hot cross bungs, uh huh, yeah.

Hot cross bungs, uh huh, yeah.

I got ma mother ****ing bungs.

So I ain’t eatin’ no dung.

An’ I know I ain’t bein’ stung.

‘cos it’s real tasty on my tongue!

Uh huh, yeah, mofo.

We think it’s the greatest food-based song ever written. And it should help hot cross bungs sell like hot cakes.

Even though the bungs are served cold on the shelves. But, you know, we mean it as a figure of speech.

Anyway, buy the bloody things! Just keep quiet about the secret ingredient—horseradish.