IT’S CHRISTMASS! Well, no, it isn’t now. It’ll be 2023 soon and you’d better be ready to deal with it! And to celebrate, we’re here with a fancy end of year bonanaza.

This feature is going to be aimless and meandering, so brace yourselves as we cobble a load of stuff together for no good reason.

We’re trying out some fancy new blogging features all in one post. It’s a bit of experimentation and a hodgepodge and YOU are our experiment. Mwahahahaaa!

The End of Year 2022 Poll

The results of this poll will determine the fate of humanity, so please pick wisely.

Professional Moron’s Sponsored Post Corner

That’s right, we’re pathetic sell outs! We’re more than happy to sell our souls to the world of minor financial gains.

As such, feast your eyes below on the VERY BEST businesses who paid to have their stupid services featured on our website in 2022.

Our personal recommendation? Get Toilet Bastard alongside Ibex Insurance Ltd. Once you’re sorted there, with Yarr! stashed in your hold you’ll be able to swashbuckle with total peace of mind.

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Intermission: Let us Pause to Celebrate David Byrne’s Funky Dancing!

Our highlight of the year was definitely David Byrne’s dancing moves, seen here from 1983. Clap for him, dammit. Clap!

The Talking Heads star is an ambassador for eccentric and unusual stuff. To which we celebrate this intermission and insist you all get up RIGHT NOW and copy his dancing moves. Do it. Go on. Now!!

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Professional Moron’s MOMENT of the YEAR

What was the biggest and best moment in Professional Moron’s 2022? No question. Never any doubt on this one! It’s this line from our Men in Black Edgar the bug feature from a few years back.

“Vincent D’Onofrio remains a lesser-known Hollywood star, having bit parts in various major films whilst often remaining ‘that guy’ you think is great.”

Professional Moron, November 7th 2018

Why is something from four years ago the highlight? As it annoyed someone who visited the site so much, they just HAD to drop a comment explaining the “lesser-known” remark is ridiculous and Vincent D’Onofrio is incredibly famous like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and all that lot.

We just binned his comment. D’Onofrio is lesser-known—deal with it bitch!

More Self-Promotion With Professional Moron’s Posts of the Year (2022)

It’s that time of year to remind you all again our site is FREE and you lot should be thankful for that (by paying us masses of money).

Or… just have a gander at some of 2022’s best bits. Guaranteed to make you stupider.

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Intermission #2: Bask in the Glory of Trombone Champ’s Silly

What we initially thought would be a passing phase has turned into anything but. Months on and we’re still laughing ourselves stupid at the enforced mediocrity the game promotes.

It reminds us of that film with Meryl Streep. Florence Foster Jenkins (2016), the depiction of the real-life socialist and soprano from early in the 20th century.

Celebrated for being rubbish! A noble pursuit. We’ll review that film soon.

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GIF of the Year 2022

GIFs are a thing and that, so we’re celebrating them with a GIF right here. Enjoy!

To note, this GIF is sponsored by Queen’s single ’39.

Tribute to Manchester City Centre

Last but not least, here’s a tribute to Manchester. We’ve called this place home since March 2011, having grown up near here anyway since 1984, but now… we be leaving!

Soon, anyway. Got a bit longer left. But the latest flat move commences and we must bid Manchester farewell.

And we’ve been in the city centre since January 2020, so three solid years. We moved right before the COVID-19 pandemic hit with all its lockdown. It’s been a time of it!

We shall miss staring forlornly out of our window at the imposing walls of Strangeways Prison… you can’t buy views like that. You really can’t. Well, we can. And we did (we pay our rent, dammit).