Human males and not being able to spot items in plain sight has a specific terminology. The Man Look is described thus:

“The act of looking for an item and failing to locate it when it is in plain sight, or when its location has been carefully described to the searcher.”

This pandemic of forgetfulness is attributed to man caves, as such hoarding tendencies promote an inability to locate things and a perpetual loss of day-to-day objects.

Today’s human female has one of these man blokes as her marriage partner. What, then, must a lady do to get her deadbeat husband to use his brain? We explore this topic and do so whilst getting a bit angry.

The Man Look and the Human Male’s Perpetual Search for Common Objects

Dear Agony Aunt. My name is Sarah, I'm 32, and I've been married to my husband for three years.

Now I regret the day I ever set eyes on him.

His forgetfulness regarding small objects is utterly cretinous. Sometimes they're right there, staring him in the face, calling out to him MERE FEET AWAY... and his brain refuses to accept this brutal reality and instead he must continue on with accusing everyone else of stealing/moving his stuff when, in reality, he's just a forgetful dolt.

I'd be tempted to say I love this man, but that was when I married him and before I realised my life with him would largely consist of constantly repeating myself:

"No, Craig, I've not moved your beer opener."
"No, darling, I've not lost your car keys."
"No, sweetums, I've not touched your wallet."
"No, honey, I promise I didn't move your pen."

On and on it goes. Literally, often the item will be RIGHT THERE in his face on a table or something and he'll be raging, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY GLASSES, SARAH!? STOP TOUCHING MY STUFF! I NEED TO GO DOWN TO THE SHOP FOR BEER AND NOW I CAN'T BECAUSE OF YOU!"

I sit there politely nodding until he spots the keys.

Then he's all like, "Oh, okay, there they are. Well, like I said... DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF AND WE WON'T KEEP HAVING THESE ARGUMENTS!!"

I sit there and I nod and CURSE THE DAY I agreed to marry him. So I went and talked to my girlfriends about this and guess what?! All their husbands and boyfriends do the same thing!

It's called The Man Look.

Is there a cure for this? Or should I start preparing the divorce papers? Thanks, Sarah

Hi there, Sarah. This is a well documented phenomenon and one that, tragically, led to 79.1% of all UK divorces in 2022.

The Man Look can only be cured by a brain transplant.

If you’re happy for your husband to secure a new brain, thusly wiping out his personality with that of another man bloke’s, then this is the correct route to take.

Ensure the new brain in waiting isn’t from:

• Another Man Look sufferer.
• Someone with a really, really boring personality (such as an individual who can find everything they own in an instant—how dull is perfection!?).
• A certified maniac.

As the worst case scenario here is your husband gets a brain transplant from a psychopath with Man Look issues who also doesn’t have a bedframe for his flat.

However, if you get lucky your husband may have a riveting new personality and also be rid of the Man Look dilemma blighting his (i.e. your) life.

Oh and, by the way, if the brain transplant thing isn’t for either of you…

Best get a divorce, I guess. Either that or just ignore him when he loses his stuff and tutt irritably instead of initiative judicial separation proceedings.