Exclusive Recipe: Oregano and Salt Ice Cream!

Oregano ice cream
Please note, this is not oregano. This is a rock with “Oregano” written on it. We’re not sure why… maybe someone is very stupid.

Oregano is a perennial herb which has, perennially, been used to liven up perennial Italian pasta dishes and other perennial foodstuffs (such as jam sandwiches). Now that is a lot of perennial, which is just as well oregano packs a tasty punch as, otherwise, you’d be pretty bored of the stuff by now, you know what we mean?

Of course, oregano isn’t typically used to make a refreshing and delicious ice cream. Why? Probably because it would be rather disgusting! We considered this carefully for our latest recipe and soon realised the answer was salt. Lots and lots of salt. Our salt infatuation at Professional Moron has put many of our readers’ lives at risk, so head on with this recipe only if your blood pressure is at a healthy level.

Oregano and Salt Ice Cream

Oregano has a pungent and earthy taste which makes any pasta dish taste rather spectacular. Indeed, some people have likened it to eating mud. These are bitter and twisted individuals – ignore them. Oregano is (like sardine ice cream) the stuff of dreams!

Before we go on, we should address our recipe habits here. We always seem to end up making new recipes for ice cream of soup. “What gives?” you may well think. Well, simply because it amuses our feeble brains. We write this blog to entertain ourselves as much as our readers, you know? Call that rampaging narcissism if you may, but you’ll thank us once you’ve tasted oregano ice cream.

With salt, of course. You’ll need a generous four or five handfuls of the stuff. Add it to some store bought vanilla ice cream you’ve melted down and chuck in the oregano (as much as humanly possible). Freeze the stuff and voila! You’ve got the world’s worst homemade ice cream!

Is it Dangerous?

Unlike the last ice cream we concocted, suntan lotion ice cream, this one won’t peel your eyelids back over your forehead upon tasting. Indeed, the subtle yet overwhelming surge of oregano will probably just make you retch in disgust, although that may be the not-so-subtle and utterly overwhelming wave of salt which hits you full force in the aftertaste.

Thankfully, there’ll be just enough of a hint of vanilla and sugar there to keep you from suffering a brain hemorrhage or whiplash as your body thrashes about in discomfort. Whilst this may all seem rather horrifying, never fear! So long as you eat the stuff around a person who knows basic CPR, you’ll be in with a great chance of seeing it through to tomorrow. Best of luck!

Have some gibberish to dispense with?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s