Exclusive Recipe: Sardine & Chocolate Soufflé!

Sardine Soufflé
Sardine heavy!

Sardines are the perfect pungent accompaniment for many a foul recipe, but they don’t get much better than ultra-pungent sardine soufflé! Created by a desperate madman with snot dribbling from one nostril (the left one), it’s the type of deranged conception which truly makes you say: “Gee… I wish banality was more commonplace”.

There is reason to this rhyme, however, as the soufflé is one of the most notoriously difficult dessert things to make in the world. It’s punished foodies for millennia, but the sardine soufflé changes this. No one will really give a damn if you present them with a deflated soufflé, they’ll simply stare in dismay and announce: “WTF? Are those sardines?” – a legend was born today.

Sardine Soufflé

Of course, we’ve used sardine ice cream as a recipe before and, aptly, it’d be a brilliant little addition to the sardine soufflé dish. Now, we actually have no idea how you go about making soufflé as we’re too busy (i.e. manly) to go about baking stuff in the kitchen. Indeed, do you want this blog to stop? Exactly, we don’t have time to cook! We just invent recipes and expect you to report back to us… weirdly, no one seems keen to try out stuff out, though.

Whilst this is offensive, we long ago wrote our readers off as clueless philistines and will continue on with our deranged genius all the same. Thusly, sardine soufflé is made by however you make a soufflé. Simply add in a tin of mushed up sardines along the way (plus the chocolate) and you have probably one of worst desserts in the history of ever! Add a giant globule of sardine ice cream and you’re way ahead of the game! You can even add some fish oil tablets, if you want.

The trick with this one is to turn the oven up to maximum – 250+ degree heat. Whatever, just make sure it’s searing hot. Leave it on for a good three hours like that to make sure the heat is analogous to a volcano erupting, then add in the soufflé. Leave it in for a good 10 minutes and it’ll come out with a distinct charcoal brown/black to it. The crunchier the better, frankly! It deflects attention away from this godawful creation.

Can’t I Just Make a Normal Soufflé?

Can’t you just go and read a normal blog? Of course you can, but where would be the fun in that? To understand this recipe, you must first understand what soufflé means. A French word (France is in Europe, a continent on Earth), it means “to breathe” (or “to puff”), which is exactly the difficulty you’re going to have after taking a bite of the sardine soufflé.

As you choke on the horribleness, take a moment to sit back and reflect on why savoury dishes are best suited to sardines. Indeed, recipes such as sardine soup, or sardine pizza, would be vastly superior to this stupid thing. What ho – if you have a pet cat, simply feed the thing to it. The cat should enjoy. Problem solved.

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