Romantic comedies and sneezing aren’t usually considered mutually equable (whatever that means). Basically, you don’t go and watch romantic films to see a bunch of people making sudden, involuntary expulsions from their fizzogs. No, you go to stare at conventionally pretty people doing conventionally pretty people stuff, such as groping each other after protracted periods of tumult.
As such, we’ve decided it’d be a great idea to disrupt those legendary romantic comedies with a bout of flu! These films are all about the sneezing and we think they’re all the better for it. So, wipe away the snot and let’s gesundheit on with it!
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Sneezes
With its self-explanatory title, this light entertainment 80 minute romp features no more than 10 dates as Kate Hudson keeps sneezing on Matthew McConaughey. Bitch.
Julia Roberts is pretty, Richard Gere is pretty and rich, but Roberts keeps sneezing everywhere as she has non-allergic rhinitis. Will the two hit it off?! One things for sure, there’ll be a lot of snot!
Bridget Jones’ Sneezery
Renée Zellweger starts to keep a diary (“sneezery” – it’s cuter when Bridget Jones says it) of her sneezing patterns, having grown bored of Hugh Grant. Concerned about sneezing, she corners herself of from society. She becomes a recluse and the only thing ever heard of her again is her neighbours whom, upon listening carefully, can hear her gigantic sneezes through the paper thin apartment walls.
10 Things I Hate About Sneezing
Frankly, we don’t mind sneezing at all, but Julia Stiles in this one sure does! So much show, she documents it all extensively and becomes a social reject. Oops.
My Best Friend’s Sneeze
She has a best friend. Then the best friend sneezes. Then they’re no longer friends. Dun dun duuuuuun!
500 Days of Sneezing
Cow-eyed annoyance Zooey Deschanel sneezes her way through this Hipster-friendly musical. Self-absorbed annoyance Joseph Gordon-Levitt keeps her in check by moping about readily with a packet of tissues.
There’s Something About Sneezing
Ben Stiller and shrill lunatic Cameron Diaz put aside their differences to discover why they’re so attracted to sneezing.
Bill Murray gets stuck in a perpetual day loop where he just can’t bloody stop sneezing. Eventually, he falls in love with Andie MacDowell and develops a whooping cough instead, freeing him from his torment.
My Big Fat Sneezing Wedding
Everyone at this wedding is fat and they’re all sneezing. Result? A film with little dialogue, but plenty of slobber all over the place. This is a slapstick comedy.
There’s no love in this film, just a lot of sneezing and an all star cast! This Christmas favourite airs annually to remind everyone bunged up with a cold that even celebrities get the snuffles.
While You Were Sneezing
“While you were sneezing, I picked up your germs and then got ill as well and started sneezing. So, I took you to court.” – This hard hitting courtroom drama follows the subsequent drama, with lots of legal lexicon and plenty of sneezes.
The Sneezing Patient
Ralph Fiennes is a patient and he just can’t… stop… the sneezing! In this 400 minute epic, he sneezes approximately three times a minute, totalling some 1,200 sneezes, making this officially the film with the most sneezes in history.
The Wedding Sneezer
Adam Sandler turns up at weddings and sneezes. The wedding-goers look at him in disgust, then he legs it. The film lasts for two hours.
Four Weddings and a Sneeze
Hugh Grant romp with plenty of weddings, all rounded off by one gigantic sneeze. Where do you think “Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed?” came from? Someone sneezed and that was snot raining down on them. Romantic stuff.
Sneezing in Seattle
Why else would you go to Seattle? It’s the sneezing capital of the world, apparently, with a sneeze for every 0.04 seconds recorded.