Boiled eggs. Boiled eggs and soldiers. Boiled eggs to throw at people you do not like. Whatever your boiled egg needs, here at Boiled Egg Enterprises Ltd. we monitor all international activities of eggs in a statement that can be classified as boiled; to whit, an egg boiled in boiled water with its shell on.

The purpose of our organisation is to ensure the rights of this foodstuff are maintained on a global basis, as well as into the deep recesses of the Universe.

Boiled Egg Enterprises: Mission Statement

Hollywood superstar Brad Pitt is an enlisted sponsor of our organisation. Brad Pitt loves boiled eggs. He told us this.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to talk to you about the most amazing food on the planet: the boiled egg.

The boiled egg is a culinary masterpiece. It is simple, yet elegant. It is humble, yet powerful. It is a food that can be enjoyed by people of all ages, from all walks of life, and whether you’re a mega handsome and famous actor, or some sad act and unemployable wretch who cleans gunk out of toilets for below minimum wage.

The boiled egg is a source of protein, vitamins, and minerals. It is a low-calorie food that can help you lose weight or maintain a healthy weight. It is a food that can help you improve your cognitive function and memory. It is a food I always eat prior to any scene in any movie you can think of that I have been in.

The boiled egg is also a versatile food. It can be eaten on its own, or it can be used in a variety of recipes. It can be added to salads, sandwiches, and soups. It can be used to make deviled eggs, egg salad, and eggnog.

The possibilities are endless. So what are you waiting for? Embrace the boiled egg! It is the food of the future.

I am Brad Pitt, and I approve this message.”

Thank you, Brad Pitt, for your kind words.

It is our organisation’s goals to hunt down and mercilessly slay anyone grotesque enough to prefer eggs:

• Scrambled
• Poached
• Baked
• Raw

It is also our mission to hand out boiled eggs to all and sundry. Every day should be boiled egg day! And we want everyone to celebrate it with an egg (that is boiled).

And Now a Message From Humpty Dumpty

Do note, eating eggs can make you ferociously unwell. As such, we have enlisted Humpty Dumpty to provide a health and safety statement:

“All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again. But I can tell you how to keep yourself from falling ill (after eating a boiled egg)!

Boiled eggs can cause food poisoning if they are not cooked properly. Salmonella bacteria can be found on the outside of eggs, and if they are not cooked long enough, these bacteria can survive and make you sick.

To prevent food poisoning, make sure to cook your boiled eggs until the yolk is firm. You can also help to prevent the spread of salmonella by washing your hands thoroughly before and after handling eggs.

So there you have it, my friends. A boiled egg a day may keep the doctor away, but only if it is cooked properly. Be safe and enjoy your boiled eggs!”

While Boiled Egg Enterprises Ltd. dispenses free eggs (that are boiled), do note it cannot be held responsible in the event of food poisoning.

It is not our organisation’s duty to provide health benefits to the public.

It is our organisation’s duty to provide boiled eggs to the public.