We’ve gone full Hipster today in embracing a new type of crisp and crisp packet. As if the whole Tea Week and Smooth Peanut and Almond Popcorn stuff wasn’t enough! Hold onto your butts, as this one is the organic, vegan friendly, all natural, gluten-free, biodegradable, compostable 30g packet of kale crisps. Being precise, it’s Crispy Baobab and Onion Kale Chips.
Kale, of course, has rapidly emerged as one of the all time great foodie foods. Hipsters adore it. They often stuff curly kale into their big beards to be at one with the kale, but it is also common practice to make crisps (“chips” as the Americans say) out of them. Why not? Whilst we’re at it, let’s throw in some baobab…
Baobab… what the hell is that?!
Yeah, we had to look it up. Apparently, a Baobab is a tree and, like with many trees, stuff grows from it. Apparently, baobab is a fruit. We think it’s just a way to stick a really weird looking word on a product to scare away the riffraff.
Crispy Baobab and Onion Kale Chips
Okay, so tasty food and kale isn’t only for Hipsters, of course. We jest often here at Professional Moron! Kale is mighty good for you in its many forms and you can, apparently, cook the son of a gun and it won’t lose its nutritional value. In the vegetable community, this is like being able to eat ice cream and not gain weight. It’s a modern day miracle!
The “chips” are crunchy, baobab or not. Our esteemed editor, Mr. Wapojif, attempted to crunch through a packet at lunch break but met with disapproving glares from his misophonia suffering colleagues. Thusly, Mr. Wapojif waited until he could return home to consume the rest. Mighty pleased he was; highly satisfied by this ridiculously expensive bag of kale!
We’re not joking, it cost some £2. Now £2 (about $5, for our many American readers – we love you guys, keep visiting!) in the grand scheme of things isn’t all that much. Psychologically, however, we humans have a habit of overreacting when it comes to food prices. £2 for crisps? NEVER! £600 for the latest, utterly superfluous iPhone update? Hell yeah, man!
Anyway, inSpiral created the things. It uses the tagline “Visionary Foods” (we’re presuming they’re visionaries) and seeing as it created this delicious, crunchy bag of health, why not put its visionary visions to the test by hunting down a bag of the stuff? We kid you not, it does FREE SHIPPING on orders over £75 ($110)! This means you can buy 37.5 bags of the stuff to slake your Hipster desires. Huzzah!