Invention: The Teapot Shed (for brews and shovel storage)

A run down shed with a green bike next to it
How’d you like your brew?

After the dismal failure of our teapot washing machine, we’re back at it with the teapot shed! Further proof of the versatility teapots possess.

This contraption merges sheds with teapots, so you have the best of both worlds when it comes to sheds and teapots.

Our market research showed there’s no demand for such a hybrid device, which means there’s a gap in the market. And we got in there!

What’s the Teapot Shed?

It’s a giant shed that’s shaped as a teapot. It has two uses:

  1. As a normal shed for your garden implements.
  2. As a teapot to brew up your favourite cup of tea (such as ginger tea).

That’s it. The idea is it’ll free up room in your kitchen so you don’t have a teapot cluttering up your work surface.

Admittedly, teapots are hardly obstructive or cumbersome things.

But with a teapot shed in your garden (if you have one), it’s one less thing to worry about.

How Does the Teapot Shed Work?

The teapot shed should be located in your garden. If you don’t have a garden, then you can’t own this contraption. Deal with it!

But if you do have a garden, be sure sure to place the storage building in a sensible location. And make sure it’s placed upright.

Don’t place the teapot shed upside down, otherwise it’ll function neither as a shed or a teapot.

Once you have the contraption at the bottom of your garden (where all sheds should go—it is law), you can then use it to either make a cup of tea. Or keep the likes of shovels and spades in.

When you need to brew a cuppa, you’ll have to take all of the garden implements out of the teapot. Otherwise you’ll have to drink tea with bits of mud and shovel in it.

Otherwise that’s about it. What else were you expecting from thing thing?

It doesn’t serve a huge purpose, we agree, and it’d probably be simpler to just have a teapot in your kitchen. But hey ho, it’s the era of materialism. And you bet your backside you need this thing as an essential possession!

Just remember to most definitely remove the lawn mower before brewing anything up, otherwise you’ll garrotte yourself.

How to Get the Teapot Shed Into Your Garden

The biggest issue you’ll have is with this aspect. The manoeuvring the giant thing into your garden, which weighs over a tonne.

It won’t fit through your house (unless you bulldoze it out of the way, but then you’ll have no home), so you’ll need to arrange a suitable delivery method.

Our suggestion is to hire one of the following (or maybe all of them):

  • Helicopter.
  • A giant crane.
  • Multiple Strongest Men in the World.
  • Some really strong women.
  • Get one of those old Consolidated B-32 Dominators to “bomb” the teapot shed into your garden.

We suggest the latter, although you’ll need a pilot with a good aim and plenty of experience. Perhaps hire someone who served in WWII to complete this final mission.

We did trail run this option and the teapot shed slamming into the ground at 200mph does impact its structural integrity. Indeed, some would argue it broke into 30 pieces.

However, the chief goal of the mission was completed.

As in, the teapot shed ended up in the garden. It was broken and useless, but it was there all the same.

This delightful item is now on the market priced at £10,000.

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