Exclusive Invention: Binder—The App For Finding Your Dream Bin

A bin for an app icon
Download our app, or you’ll get a slap!

You’ve tried StinkedIn, the award-losing app banned from all major platforms, now it’s time to step up your game!

In a world full of trash and sleaze, why not smooth your existence along by finding the dream bin for your home?

That’s where Binder comes in! No, not Tinder!! It’s Binder. And it’s bloody amazing, right, because it’s all about bins.

How to Find Your Perfect Bin

Sit back and contemplate, now, as we put our sales pitch to you in predictably condescending fashion.

Picture the scene! You’re sitting at home drunk and disorderly, your life in ruins. You don’t even have a bin to stuff all the empty beer cans into! For shame!!

As you sit in your squalid filth about to burst into tears, you suddenly remember what your friend said to you down at the dole office. Binder!

But of course! Binder!! It’s the ONLY bin-based app on the market, designed for bin enthusiasts, by bin enthusiasts!

How Binder Works

Binder is a cutting edge app that ensures you find the perfect bin for your home.

Why would you need a skip when a wheelie bin would do? Why have a wheelie bin if you only need a small stainless steel waste bin!?

Exactly! You don’t need a huge skip clogging up your living room! So, download the app (only £20/$30) and then you can:

  • Browse the vast inventory of 100s of bins!
  • Take our Bin Inventory Questionnaire to determine the ideal bin for your life!
  • Swipe left or right throughout our bin database!
  • Buy as many (or few) bins as you like!

That’s right, Binder is like Tinder… but for bins! Mix and match today to get the bin you deserve into your life.

About Our Bin Inventory Questionnaire

Fill out the questionnaire to get granular feedback on what makes the ideal bin in your life.

Answer key questions to determine what makes the perfect waste disposal unit in your life. Questions such as:

  • What’s your favourite film?
  • Should the monarchy be abolished?
  • What’s your political leaning?
  • Could you date someone who’s really messy?
  • Do you like bins?

After completing up to 500 questions (100 of which are mandatory), you’ll be directed to our complete database of bins. It’s bintastic!

So, download our app (or we’ll hunt you down and give you a slap)!

About Your Data

GDPR!? Get out of here, you precious snowflake! All your private data is mined by us and sent directly to third-party vendors to exploit.

Great news if you love junk mail! Because it’s coming your way en masse! Aaahahahahaa!

Don’t like our evil laugh? Feel free to send your complaints to some consumer goods commission. As a black market operator, you’ll never be able to find us! Or our bins!

11 comments

Dispense with some gibberish!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.