Exclusive Recipe: Pita Bread on Toast

Pita bread on toast
Pita? Peeta? Pitta? Jesus, what a confusing thing.

Mixing bread to form the ultimate sandwich has long been a dream of ours. We seem to remember doing a bread on bread sandwich recipe last year, but we weren’t happy with the resulting blog post so we won’t be digging it up today and foisting it upon you again.

Instead, we’ve come up with pita bread on toast! Last week, of course, we praised brown bread and threw contempt at white bread. Our divisive opinions stand – white bread is for deranged halfwits, brown bread is for superior people. This may seem somewhat prejudiced in an immature and dense sort of way, but so what? This is bread we’re on about here – it’s more important than you, I, us, the universe in its infinite lifeless widsom, or your haircut.

Pita Bread on Toast

By combining pita with bread one is really making a grand statement towards a united, liberal world (so long as you don’t use white bread for any of this – get your act together). Brown pita bread on brown toast is one of those dishes which will define an era – it’s nutritional brilliance in a unique sandwich recipe. What could be better?

“Well… an interesting selection of fillings would be better than a mass of bread!” True, thanks for your insightful observation, but your turgid and insipid reasoning is both turgid and insipid. We have no time for either.

As revolutionary recipe makers, we don’t stop to think about consequences. The simple fact is this: when it gets to lunchtime, you’re hungry. What will slake this desire for foodstuffs? A sandwich? How about what essentially amounts to two sandwiches?! Zomg, we went there!

To make this a reality, all you need is some pita, some bread, and a toaster. The rest, as they say, is history! You toast the two up, staple them together, and then consume with a serious degree of enthusiasm. So, yes, you’ll need a functioning stapler as an ingredient.

Won’t it be a Bit Dry?

Not if you make it less dry with moisture, such as with a bit of petrol. Whilst extremely dangerous when ingested or set on fire, petrol has a pleasant enough smell to it and will also turn your potentially too dry pita bread on toast into a thing of flammable beauty.

Indeed, you won’t (technically) need your toaster now you have some petrol. Just set the bread on fire and, there you are, a glorious recipe which also involves pulmonary aspiration of gastric content (i.e. the petrol’s going to get soaked up by your gut – this may lead to intense nausea and vomiting).

To alleviate these symptoms, you can abstain from drinking petrol, or simply add something such as mayonnaise for a more salubrious time of it. The downside is this stuff can be a bit fattening, so if you’re watching your figure turn to the petrol. It’s a good natural cleanser, although it may also irreparably sear your throat and windpipe with blistering sores and agony. Your choice, you know… it’s your waistline.

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