Giraffe

Professional Moron

Daily Doses of Surreal Humour & Culture

Menu Skip to content
  • Silliness
    • Insane Inventions
    • Breaking News
    • Great Sayings Revisited
    • Hamsters
    • In Praise Of…
  • Food
    • Genius New Recipes
    • Food Disasters
    • Oodles of Noodles
    • Tea Week!
  • Features
    • Agony Aunt
    • FAQs About Stuff
    • How to…
    • Special Features
    • Exclusive Santa Claus Newsletters
  • Films & TV
    • Film Quote Off Extravaganzas
    • TV Shows That Never Were
    • Film Reviews (Serious Ones)
  • Groovy Books
    • Serious Books
    • Not So Serious Books
    • Travel Writing
    • Our Short Stories
  • Video Games
    • Retro Gaming
    • Indie Games
    • Modern Games
  • About

Category: How to…

Alien abduction
3 days ago March 22, 2019March 22, 2019Mr. Wapojif

How to Effectively Manage Your Alien Abduction

Mary Pickford dancing
February 25, 2019February 25, 2019Mr. Wapojif

How to Moonwalk (dancing – not space travel)

Thank you
February 4, 2019February 4, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Email & Letter Sign-Offs: How to End Your Discourse

Punch of a fist
January 21, 2019January 23, 2019Mr. Wapojif

How to Punch Someone in the Face

Love letter in a typewriter
December 28, 2018December 28, 2018Mr. Wapojif

How to Write a Love Letter

Blah
December 10, 2018December 10, 2018Mr. Wapojif

How to Make Small Talk

The Fist of Aggression
November 19, 2018November 17, 2018Mr. Wapojif

How to be More AGGRESSIVE!

Dinner party
October 9, 2018October 9, 2018Mr. Wapojif

How to Host a Dinner Party

Paper fortune tellers
July 18, 2018February 8, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Paper Fortune Tellers: How to Make These Predicting Things

Flirting
July 4, 2018July 4, 2018Mr. Wapojif

How to Chat Up a Woman – Part #2

May 28, 2018June 13, 2018Mr. Wapojif

How to Nail a Job Interview

Mount Everest
May 14, 2018May 11, 2018Mr. Wapojif

How to Climb Mount Everest (Your Official, Moronic Survival Guide)

Letter writing
April 24, 2018April 24, 2018Mr. Wapojif

How to Write a Threatening Letter

Marriage
March 5, 2018January 7, 2019Mr. Wapojif

How to Get Married (our official, unbeatable guide to marriage!)

How to shave properly
January 11, 2018January 6, 2018Mr. Wapojif

How to Shave Your Face (manly man’s guide)

October 26, 2017October 26, 2017Mr. Wapojif

How Hairdressers Can Improve the Haircut Experience

How to use a parting phrase like goodbye
October 12, 2017October 12, 2017Mr. Wapojif

How to Use a Parting Phrase (Goodbye, Farewell, Get Lost etc.)

How to speak like you're from Northern England
September 21, 2017September 21, 2017Mr. Wapojif

How to Speak Like You’re From Northern England, Mate

How to ask out a woman
August 16, 2017August 12, 2017Mr. Wapojif

How to Ask Out a Woman (and score every time, player!)

How to go bald gracefully
July 21, 2017July 22, 2017Mr. Wapojif

How to Go Bald Gracefully (a manly man’s guide)

How to Name Your Baby Guide
July 7, 2017July 1, 2017Mr. Wapojif

How to Name Your Baby (with help from Professional Moron!)

How to be good at Badminto
July 8, 2016July 8, 2016Mr. Wapojif

How to NOT be Bad at Badminton

Ecover washing up liquid
January 12, 2016January 12, 2016Mr. Wapojif

How To Rekindle Your Lust For Life With Washing Up Liquid!

Burger and Lobster restaurant
October 19, 2015November 7, 2015Mr. Wapojif

How to Be a Waiter or Waitress

June 17, 2015June 17, 2015Mr. Wapojif

How To Pander To A Panda Who Panders

May 18, 2015May 18, 2015Mr. Wapojif

How To Tell The Thyme

March 19, 2015March 19, 2015Mr. Wapojif

How To Enjoy The Solar Eclipse The Moronic Way

February 24, 2015February 24, 2015Mr. Wapojif

How To Create The Perfect Tea Setup

February 4, 2015February 4, 2015Mr. Wapojif

How To Make The Moon More Interesting

October 21, 2014August 5, 2015Mr. Wapojif

How To Detox With An Ox

October 4, 2014January 10, 2019Mr. Wapojif

How to pronounce Tzatziki

January 31, 2014January 31, 2014Mr. Wapojif

How To Write Proper!

January 20, 2014January 20, 2014Mr. Wapojif

How To Have a Conversation About Eggs

June 7, 2013June 7, 2013Mr. Wapojif

How To Be A Successful Food Critic!

May 15, 2013August 5, 2015Mr. Wapojif

How To Approach Bono

Posts navigation

1 2 →

Join 1,442 other followers

Cripes… it’s Twitter!

My Tweets

Six Degrees of Instagram

#Spring is on da weigh in #Manchester, yo. #city #cityscape #Deansgate
Back in #Manchester. This #pink #tree knows it’s #spring. Even if it keeps raining. #leaves
I are in #space? #Philadelphia #city #night #sunset #sunsets
It’s #Philadelphia. Yeah! Not to be mistaken with that cheese spread. #city #cityscape #USA #skyview
A bit of #Earth #ice right there above #Vermont. #blue #travel #snow #ice
A decent #view. #Burlington #Vermont #travel #lake #snow #ice

Our Most Excellent Posts

Titanic: “I’m flying... Jack!” Quote Off Extravaganza!
Exclusive Recipe: Cement Bread
The Best Song Titles That Haven’t Been Used Yet
Top 10 Most Epic & Glorious Modern 2D Platformer Games
In Praise of the Opening Music From Mr. Bean
Haiku Adventure: The Poetic Point & Click Romp (preview)
As Good As It Gets: “You make me want to be a better man” Super Quote Off Extravaganza!
Edgar the Bug: Praising Vincent D'Onofrio's Brilliance in MIB
10 Vegetables Which Sound Like Your Insulting Someone
Agony Aunt: “HELP! My boyfriend has hairy back syndrome!"

Looking for something?

Follow Professional Moron on WordPress.com

Totally Translatable

Copyright & All That

© Professional Moron: 2012-2019. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of our content without permission is a no. You can use excerpts, but provide us with credit. Or else!

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com
Cancel